What makes people overshare




















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Possible reasons why you're not getting hired. Hand gestures that make you look intelligent. Kumar, a year-old life coach and social worker in Overland Park, Kan. You may change your billing preferences at any time in the Customer Center or call Customer Service. You will be notified in advance of any changes in rate or terms. You may cancel your subscription at anytime by calling Customer Service.

Skip to Main Content Skip to Search. There can be positive outcomes. People make connections, feel a greater sense of authenticity, and establish a digital community that is important to them. The other side of the coin, of course, is rejection, the malevolence of trolls, consequences, post-post anxiety … and that indelible digital tattoo.

Why do people overshare on social media? Associate Professor Simon Boag. Faculty of Medicine, Health and Human Sciences. Our Stories. Arts and Society. Narcissism or new social norm? What does oversharing online say about our 21st century selves? Associate Professor of Psychology Simon Boag explains.

Death of the stiff upper lip Many oversharers assume that their main value is pleasing others with their stories and jokes, says Heather Havrilesky, an American author, essayist, and humorist who writes the advice column 'Ask Polly' for New York magazine. The oversharing tipping point So where does vulnerability end and narcissism begin?

Family workshops share the load of long-term brain injury What was it like to be old in ancient Rome? Do you find that the more you like someone and want them to like you, the more you blather? Like to that cool new colleague from New York? Or the attractive barista at the local coffee shop? It can be an unconscious way to try to prove you have value, hiding low self-esteem. Do you fall in love quickly? Yes, relationships require being open. And bonding can involve telling our dark secrets.

But sharing is one thing. Rushed oversharing, where you share your whole life story in a matter of days and use it to block out the world and mesmerise the other? And show a total lack of personal boundaries? Overshare the same story to whoever will listen? About how hard your life was, and who did you wrong? The victim mentality means you gain your sense of power and agency by making others feel sorry for you.

Many people trapped in the victim mentality did indeed have childhood trauma. But it is to say you are not facing up to the fact that you are an adult now with free will, and you have to choose to take responsibility for your healing.

It helps just to recognise your real intention for oversharing, and the root cause. Journalling is useful here, as is mindfulness , a practice that helps you recognise what you really think and feel.

With things like low self-esteem, or conscious oversharing to win attention, self help books and courses can help you work through healthier ways to feel good about yourself. But if your oversharing hides pretty serious issues, support is highly advisable. You might want to start with forums, online support groups, or in person support groups.

But, particularly with things like severe anxiety, BPD , and childhood trauma , working with a counsellor or therapist is highly advisable if you want to see real change. Time to stop talking and start listening to yourself?



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